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Coffee

 I love coffee.  I do not like fancy coffee.  I take my coffee black.  Good old Aldi’s brand coffee, served up in a French press.  Not too strong, not too weak. Brown water if you will. No cream. No sugar. Yum.

Coffee has become a bit of a confusing experiment.  I recently spoke to a friend who said going to a Starbucks made him anxious.  He doesn’t have a “go to” order, and they ask far too many questions.  I agree.  Regular coffee. Black. Easy peasy.

Frappuccino latte grande, half caf, half decaf with caramel, sprinkles and whipped?  That is NOT coffee.  That is a fancy ass drink that you need to carry in front of you like you are holding a crown for the king with both hands and a look of terror on your face for fear you will drop your treasure.  No thank you.

Why has this happened?  When did coffee become an obsession?  The Keurig is a whole other hairball that makes me nuts.  A huge machine sitting on your counter that costs hundreds of dollars (my French press cost $7.00) and then purchasing the damn “K-cups” for a small fortune.  These are the ones that  claim to care about the environment, until of course, it means they have to drink “regular” coffee….then the environment is not so important, leaving these little containers everywhere.  What the hell?

I did a bit of research and the whole coffee phenom was meant to provide a “break” in your day.  To offer you “a relaxing experience.”  Help me understand how standing in a long ass line, with strangers all up in your trunk, ordering fancy ass drinks that take 5 minutes to make is relaxing?  This makes no sense to me.  These coffee houses are always crowded, people sit there for hours taking advantage of the free wi-fi while you stand there with your fancy ass drink waiting for a seat. Oh, and they’re usually playing jazz!

No thank you.  I will take my cheap ass coffee, in my cheap ass French press, at my kitchen island any time.

Black.  No sugar. No cream.

 

The Brat